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How to be a Good Friend

September 05, 2012

How to be a Good Friend

The thing I have learned about friendship is that the key is not to have many friends but to have good, loyal friends. I’ve had many friendships in life. Some have lasted a long, long time while others have only lasted a short time. I’ve learned a few things that help friendships grow.

A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference.”

Winnie the Pooh

Be Thoughtful

It’s not just about the big occasions, though it is important to celebrate birthdays and the like. Good friends celebrate even when there is no reason. Send a card, even if your friend lives right down the street, offer to babysit or bring her a cup of her favorite coffee before an early morning test. It’s the little things that go a long way. Meaningful text messages can brighten up a person’s day, especially if it has been a tough one.

Sit on the Couch

You don’t have to do anything, not really. Friendships are built more in the being and not so much in the doing. Some of my most memorable times have taken place just sitting with a friend on a comfy couch with a cup of coffee or glass of wine. It’s where deep conversations and roll on the floor laugh fests have taken place. If you like the same TV show, go over and watch every week. Don’t be afraid to invite someone into your home, that’s where friendships are formed.

Listen

Sometimes you need to be quiet and listen. Even if you don’t want to hear the story, even if you have heard the story a dozen times before. Just be quiet and really listen. Sometimes when a person repeats a story, there is something else they are trying to say. Don’t think about what you are going to say next. Listen.

Check yourself

Don’t be the person that only calls when you need someone. No one likes to feel used and that is not the basis of any real friendship. You know the people. You see their name light up on your phone and you want to answer by saying “What do you want?” Friends absolutely help each other, but if it is one sided or if all you are doing is helping. That is not friendship. It’s free labor or counseling.

Also see how you feel after you’ve spent some time with your friend. Do you feel exhausted? Do you feel ugly inside? Do you feel content or happy? There were times when I’d go home from having dinner with a friend and feel exhausted inside. It was because they had spent the whole night gossiping or it just took too much effort. The key to being a good friend is surrounding yourself with people who make you a better person. Distancing yourself from the gossips, mean girls, and one-uppers will help you be better friends to your true friends.

Value each other

You know those people you would call if someone in your family died or you ended up in the hospital? Those people you would call if you just got engaged or got a promotion? Those are your friends. Value them.

XOXO

Maryann B